Sunday, January 07, 2007

Evidence Found That Flying Spaghetti Monster Exists (And Suggests It Is Greater Than God)

According to Professor Houyuan Lu, from the Institute of Geology and Geophysics, Chinese Academy of Sciences, Beijing, the earliest written record of noodles is traced to a book written during the East Han Dynasty sometime between 25CE and 220CE, although it remained a subject of debate whether the Chinese, the Italians, or the Arabs invented them first.

Recently, however, archaeologists working at the Lajia site lying on the Yellow River to the South-west of Beijing, nicknamed ‘the Pompei of China’, have found an earthenware pot with the remains of the world’s oldest noodles inside (see picture). The 50cm-long, yellow strands were made using grains from millet grass; the noodles were radiocarbon dated, and this indicated that the food was about 4,000 years old. Researchers said that the pot the noodles were in had preserved them, maintaining them in good condition, and that it had probably been buried during a catastrophic flood.

Thus, at one stroke, we have new evidence that noodles are older than Jesus, but whilst it was thought, originally, that the manufacturers were probably wiped out in Noah’s Flood because God didn’t approve of Pot Noodle being served up to his Son during his holiday on Earth, the latest suggestion is that these are NOT noodles, but evidence of a devotional offering to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and that God, in a jealous rage, destroyed the FSM’s worshippers. Professor Fuk Yi All, from the Institute of Religious Psychopathology, said that God’s vindictiveness is not conclusive proof that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is in any way inferior to Him, since the absence of evidence of retaliation demonstrates that the FSM may simply be more magnanimous and omnipotent than He claims to be.


Papalazarou said...

how very timely -

The Merchant of Menace said...

Just like the Japanese to copy someone else.

Still, it looks like two strikes for god.

Let this be a warning to us!