Our intrepid undercover reporter has just obtained this photograph of what really goes on in Catholic seminaries. As the Cardinal Archbishop and Prince of the Church said to the supplicants, "If God hadn't meant us to have our cocks sucked, he would have allowed us to marry women. Still, the mouth of an altar boy is a sweet diversion."
Apparently, so-called 'holy scriptures' only prohibits priests sticking their cocks up altar boys' bums, which is why the Church gets so annoyed with them when they do so, and moves them to another parish in the feeble hope that they will mend their ways. Nevertheless, the influence of the Rectal Reamers, as they call their society, is growing apace in the Roman Catholic Church. As one of their members (no pun) said, "The intellectuals have their Opus Dei, so why shouldn't the sybarites amongst us have our secret society too?" Quite.
Meanwhile, our intrepid reporter was almost defrocked, as it were, when the miniature camera he had had inserted in his urethra popped out during a particularly vigorous sucking session by the Cardinal, and nearly choked our Prince.
When we subsequently put these allegations to the Vatican, a spokesman denied that there was any truth in them whatsoever. As he said, "We know a lie when we hear one. After all, we have been peddling them for nearly 2,000 years."
It is up to you, dear reader, to decide the truth for yourself.