Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Faith Toys For Morons

In a desperate bid to stem the tide of reason and atheism that is sweeping the US, faith groups are promoting religious toys which recite appropriate messages to children so that they can more readily be brainwashed into believing the same nonsense as their parents.

One such toy is the foot high version shown alongside. Appropriately enough it is called Jesus, and shows this mythical creature to be a regular Cecil B DeMille type, that is to say, regular-featured, white, Caucasian, long-haired, full-bearded, and dressed in a spotless long white gown, who spouts the usual platitudes and non-sequiturs, an example of which is shown.

Apparently, if one sticks a digit up Jesus' rectum, he will say other things too, such as...
Ooh, you are so manly, Peter
I love wearing frocks, don't you?
not to mention the pièce de résistance
Atheist are libertines, communists and God-hating degenerate faggots!

Apparently Wal-Mart, the biggest retailer in the US if not the entire cosmos, is stocking this rubbish in 425 of its 3,376 stores later this month situated in the Midwest and South, the country's religious imbecilic heartlands.

A spokesman said...
We used to be accused of dealing with demographic groups D and E, but now we are striking out to reach the real socio-intellectual-economic dross with this range of toys which are produced specifically for morons.
The toys are manufactured by a Californian company (where else is more famous for kooks and degenerates?), that goes by the name of One2believe and the CEO hopes to make lots of bucks selling this shoddy dreck to those unintelligent enough to actually believe that there is any credible evidence whatsoever that this mythical person ever existed.

Apparently George Bush has put his name down for one of the first off the production line. His wife Laura said...
I'd rather he played with that horrible toy than his horrible cock.
Quite so, but frankly, Laura, I don't mind which he plays with as long as he stops pretending that he's the leader of the world and invading countries because (that other mythical creature) 'God' told him to.

Meanwhile, I'm going long in Wal-Mart stock, because this sort of crap is really going to boost their bottom line, NOT!

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