According to the Vatican, Il Poopoo is offering relief from purgatory to Roman Catholics who travel to Lourdes over the next year, but when I want relief, I prefer something that is guaranteed to work, like cassia angustifolia, (senna pods to you), rather than the magical mumblings of a moronic misologist like Benny Ratsarse.
For those of you who are not as daft as the average catholic - or as willing to prey on the dysfunctional and delusional amongst us as the average cleric - Il Poopoo's deal allegedly works like this:
Pilgrims to the shrine of 'Our Lady of Lourdes' will be granted 'plenary indulgences' from Benny Ratsarse, which theBut those of you who can't make the trip to the extremely unpleasant little town of Lourdes needn't worry, for Il Excrementia has another plan to shear you from your dosh:
catholic churchmulti-national business which he runs says will reduce the time spent being 'washed' of sin after death. The indulgences will be available from this weekend until Dec 8, 2008, providing you drop enough dosh into the maw of the church's coffers.
For those who cannot make the journey to France, the Pope will also grant indulgences toNow isn't that heart-warming! The catholic church will prey on those who are unable to pray at the real deal - Lourdes, the place where 150 years ago a half-mad, delusional and sexually-abused illiterate peasant girl claimed that the mythical figure of the 'Madonna' appeared to her in a vision. Well, at least that stopped all her male relatives shagging her as they realised that they could make more money out of exploiting her mad tale instead and, naturally, the catholic church was quick to jump on the money-making bandwaggon.
Catholicsmorons who pray at places of worship dedicated to the 'Madonna of Lourdes' from Feb 2 to Feb 11. Indulgences may also be granted under special circumstances to people too sick to visit the shrine, the Vatican said.
And so, the prosperity of a rather ugly and extremely unpleasant little town in south-west France was assured, as was the continued exploitation of the gullible, dysfunctional and just downright mad by the Roman Catholic church - a tradition which Benny Ratsarse, Il Poopoo Benedict XVI continues to this day.