Saturday, February 21, 2009

Cardinal Sodoff Confesses: It's All A Joke!

Cardinal Angelo Sodoff has at last come clean and confessed that God is just a joke and that the Church of Rome is no more than a perpetual confidence trick perpetrated on the gullible and needy in order to keep him and his kind in the luxurious lifestyle which they believe they deserve.

In his defence, however, Sodoff did explain that the Church of Rome is indistinguishable in its perfidy from the Anglican Communion, or any of what he called 'the other joke religions of the world', since all of them 'were at it', as he put it so pithily.

Nevertheless, it did come as something of a surprise to observe this 'Prince of the Church' sitting on his throne in St Peters whilst he told his audience that they had all been duped by a bunch of charlatans like himself 'ever since Jesus stood up and proclaimed that he was the Son of God'. As the Cardinal went on to say, 'If God had existed, then we could all claim to have been his progeny, since he allegedly created everything, but he didn't and he hadn't and we aren't, so there'.

At that point, once of the members of his Eminence's audience stood up and demanded, 'If you are saying that everything that you told us before was a pack of lies, why should we believe you now?' and immediately his voice was enjoined by the others, all of whom were making similar demands of the wily old prelate. Whereupon Angelo Sodoff stood up, towering above the clamouring masses in his 6-inch stiletto heels by Jimmy Choo, raised his bejewelled hands above their heads and solemnly proclaimed, 'Don't worry, my children, this was just a test of your faith, which I am glad to say you all passed. Now my acolytes will circulate amongst you with their begging-bowls and you will be expected to give generously!' And with that, Sodoff pirouetted whilst gathering his silken and lace robes around his loins, and minced off to find new sheep to sheer.

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